12 Games for 2012

We’ve woken from our meat-induced coma and shaken off the dreaded New Years Eve hangover - 2012 is finally upon us. If the Mayans were right, then this is the very last year we’re going to have to achieve our dreams and goals, or make sure we play only the very best in videogame entertainment, instead of wasting our time on pure drivel. With this useful guide, you can be the most entertained man on the planet when the asteroid hits.

MASS EFFECT 3

Commander Shepherd is back to save the galaxy once again, concluding the story started way back in the first game. Literally the same story, as the professionals among us will have used our save game from the original Mass Effect, carrying the weight of our decisions with us along the way. This final chapter appears to be the most explosive and intense of the bunch. The best bit of Sci Fi to come along in a very long time, and we can guarantee you that this will be better than every film or TV series you watch this year.

DARKSIDERS 2

The first Darksiders was an underrated little gem of a game. It borrowed heavily from the Legend of Zelda series and cribbed the art style from Warhammer and ‘Spawn’ comics, creating a powerful combination in its own right. You played as War, of the four horsemen fame, and wandering around the giant post-apocalyptic wastelands twatting things with his huge sword was a whole heap of fun. The trailers indicate that his scythe-wielding skeletal brother, Death, takes the lead this time around. You play as DEATH. Clearly, this is going to be incredible.

PHANTASY STAR ONLINE 2

If we’re absolutely honest we’re terrified of this. Last time a Phantasy Star Online game was released, we were busy dodging foot and mouth disease, mourning the death of Sir Harry Secombe and failing our ‘A’ Levels. At least one of these things is directly linked to a crippling addiction to Phantasy Star Online. A simple online multiplayer RPG, If this is basically just the Dreamcast original, updated with fancy high definition graphics, then within the year expect the updates to this site to be very thin on the ground.

DIRT: SHOWDOWN

Codemaster’s Dirt games are the best racing games available, majestically combining realistic, technical driving with fun, arcade-style simplicity. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “But what about Forza and Gran Turismo blah blah blah?” Well, I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, but driving around the Nuremburg Ring in a Fiat sits somewhere on the Maxim excitement scale somewhere between ‘sitting down too fast’ and ‘actually driving to work’. The focus here is on wrecking things in destruction derby races, hooning it about in gymkhana events and generally doing things that would get you told off in any other tedious motorsport simulator. Also, no appearance of Jeremy Clarkson’s awful voice, which is always a bonus.

METAL GEAR RISING: REVENGEANCE

Revengeance. Say it out loud. Let it float around in the air a bit. Think about it. It is a ridiculous, fictional word, but yet, one that seems to fit this latest addition to the Metal Gear cannon. Hideo Kojima has entrusted his baby to Platinum Games, creators of Bayonetta and Vanquish (which is one of the best games you’ve never played - go seek it out) to put the badass cyborg ninja Raiden in the hands of gamers. Based on their pedigree, there’s no one better for the job. We mean, just LOOK at this trailer (click). Breathtaking.

GRAND THEFT AUTO V

We don’t really know that much about GTAV. We know the same as what you know - THAT trailer, released late last year, allowed us to gleam a few things about it that those without our expertly honed senses may have missed. It appears to be set in Los Santos, part of the incredible GTA: San Andreas, and several different protagonists are hinted at. The most interesting part of it all is the suffix - this is a full Grand Theft Auto sequel, something that Rockstar normally save for titles that are the true next leap forwards for the series. That fact alone is enough to get excited about. The biggest game of 2012, guaranteed.

LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW

Shadows of the Damned was one of the best games of 2011. Helmed by the director of Resident Evil 4, it was always going to have tight, fun survival horror gameplay, but what made it special was the input of a one Suda51, the wrestling mask wearing mental in charge of Grasshopper Manufacture, developers of some of the more bizarre games of the past decade. This could be his most simple concept yet - you’re a cheerleader, with a chainsaw, in a school full of zombies. You can work out the rest from there and, surely, you’re already sold?

ALIENS: COLONIAL MARINES

2010’s Aliens vs. Predator was a bit guff, but this shooter is primed to put everything right once again. Going for the tone of James Cameron’s masterpiece gung-ho action flick, as opposed to the drip-feed dread and horror of Ridley Scott’s movies, the Alien license has been long overdue a fantastic squad-based shoot ‘em up, and the team behind the excellent Borderlands is ready to deliver on the heaps and heaps of promise. Could be the best co-op experience of the year by a country mile. Baggsies Hudson!

DMC

The billions of fat virgins on the internet shat their collective nappies when this Devil May Cry reboot was first announced. No longer by their precious Capcom, and no longer featuring their favourite grey-haired hero, they turned to every single videogaming forum in order to let their impotent rage be known. For the rest of us more adjusted folk, it is an exciting time for the series that was fast becoming a bit stale. Now in the more than capable hands of Ninja Theory, the team behind the excellent Enslaved a few years back. This is perhaps the license they need to get their work to a much larger audience. The new Dante *does* look like a prick, mind.

SKULLGIRLS

We love our fighting games here at Maxim, and this one could be very special indeed. Designed by a high-end tournament gamer, Mike Zaimont, he has taken his vast experience in the field of competitive gaming to weed out all of the annoying things that can make an otherwise incredible beat ‘em up a frustrating, unbalanced bore. If the terms ‘Infinite Detection’, ‘Ratio System Tag Battles’ and ‘Dynamically Calculated, Non-Arbritary Input Windows’ get you feeling all hot under the collar, this is definitely the game for you. If not, the large cast of ample bosomed fighters should do the job. If you’re thirteen.

CATHERINE

Oh lordy, where do we start? Catherine is madder than a fez full of wasps. It has been out in Japan and America for a few months now, but finally sees our shores this year. It is a bizarre blend of puzzle game, platformer and survival horror that really needs to be played to be fully understood. You play as a bloke called Vincent, who starts having twisted nightmares when his girlfriend, Katherine, starts talking about marriage - something we’ve all experienced. During the day time sections,you’ve got to maintain relationships with your girlfriend and a new girl, confusingly named ‘Catherine’, whilst at night you’re thrust into a block-pushing platform puzzle full of horrid creatures. The most unique title of 2012, bar none.

BIOSHOCK: INFINITE

A lot of people didn’t like Bioshock 2. We’re not sure why, as it improved on the gameplay of the original in many ways, but it undeniably lacked the storytelling chops of the original - regarded as one of the highest watermarks in videogame narrative. So, with Ken Levine back on board writing the story, expectations are high for this ‘true’ sequel. Set on the floating city of Columbia, Bioshock: Infinite looks again set to explore some issues normally ignored in favour of ‘shooty shooty kill mans’, such as the American national identity, immigration and racism. Blimey. Game of the year for 2012? As you can see from this list, it has some serious competition.