WHAT'S IT ABOUT? Cheeky bastard books a honeymoon in Portugal during Euro 2004 footy time, then strives to sneak off to England matches without his American wife knowing.

ANY GOOD? Danny Dyer's geeziness makes him ripe for a chinning, but this is still a reasonably enjoyable, largely improvised bloke-com.

TALE'S MORAL: Get an American wife who's never heard of football.