South Africa 2010

The tale of the checkered St George

[To be read in South African accent for no reason.]

"DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME!

Just kidding.

Good afternoon gentlemen.

I'm Maxim's once-proud 6-foot by 4-foot World Cup Flag and in the early days of June I was being paraded in various locations in South Africa in order to prove that Maxim were not only there, but they were embracing the tournament with affirmed passion, untainted vigour and a nondescript laddy verve.

However, since those heady days of eating raw meat, laughing at Warthogs shagging each other in the eye and gulping Jagerbombs in joyous unison, I have been confined to the office drawer - folded, stained and forgotten.

It's rubbish in here. It smells of old socks and pencil sharpenings and all I get to talk to is a picture invoice from 2008. He's never been held aloft with pride and optimism! I can't relate to the man! HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND! But for four more long years I shall have to put up with him. So...

Thank you Faded Optimism!

Thank you Fabio Capello's Tactics Board!

Thank you TEUTONICALLY BALANCED GERMAN TEAM!

THANK YOU ENGLANNNNNNNNNNND!

Was fun while it lasted though. Check me out in the snaps below."

Look good, don't I?"

Thanks to Sony Ericsson, the hands of strangers and Matt Beavis's Platinum card.