Spread The Word

There's nothing wrong with marmalade!

'There used to be things better about it,' came a later piece of internal monologuery. 'But I really can't find anything actually WRONG with it.'

I had this conversation with myself whilst Raworth was at some inconsequential meeting. I was hungry. I ate toast. And then I was satisfied. God bless slightly burned bread!

A how to toast toast guide for aliens/the uninitiated:

1) You must be fully in charge of your toaster. If you're not fully versed in the settings and how they differ when the unit's warming up, then you could be in for some serious bread wastage or a piece of toast like a slab of burnt wicker. Be warned.

2) Have your margarine of choice on the knife ready for when the toast pops.

3) Immediately spread it on the toast so it soaks into your Best of Both, permeating it and giving it a lovely golden buttery sheen.

4) Don't over-butter it or be a total numpty and pedantically make sure it reaches all four corners evenly. Just get on it sharpish and head for the Robertson's.

5) Get a knife full of the good stuff, whack it on, slice down the middle and push into mouth in one swift marmie-loving motion.

6) Voila! A toast sensation (fnar fnar)

And wasn't it amazing when they used to give away the slightly un-PC Roberston Golliwogs when you saved the tokens? Happy, if a little, controversial days.

I must do some work now (And stop writing about myself in the third-person. Apols.).